tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7442903.post110474305022996712..comments2023-02-20T02:03:44.375+13:00Comments on Notions Incognito: The wonder of doubtNotions Incognitohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563317972349417700noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7442903.post-1104887049565260852005-01-05T14:04:00.000+13:002005-01-05T14:04:00.000+13:00Interesting indeed. You have once again beaten me...Interesting indeed. You have once again beaten me to it in discussing this topic, which has been foremost in my mind for the last few months. So hopefully you won't object to my discussing some of my discoveries on the subject of doubt.<br /><br />"I think there is no suffering greater than what is caused by the doubts of those who want to believe. I know what torment this is, but I can only see it, in myself anyway, as the process by which faith is deepened. A faith that just accepts is a child's faith and all right for childre, but eventually you have to grow religiously as every other way, though some never do." -Flannery O'Connor, <I>The Habit of Being</I>For my part, I finally, after a deal of struggle and anguish of mind, reached the same conclusion you have, a couple of months ago, and felt inexpressible relief in it. Hurrah. I'm allowed to doubt. It's even good for me (eventually, if I follow it through with enormous care). And I know that, despite the pain it has caused me in its time, I would never go back even if I could. The gold amongst my faith is definitely emerging the brighter for being put through the fire. <br /><br />Just last night, for example, I found myself doing something I'd never allowed myself or in fact been tempted to do before: I really considered the possibility that maybe we're even wrong about God's goodness. That was a horribly bleak place to be, which I couldn't stand for long, but the relief I felt in restating my belief in His goodness, having once actually held it up for examination and chosen to hold onto it, was overwhelming. It's been the same with every facet of belief that I have decided to take hold of from amongst the broken pieces of my old faith - they are so much dearer to me now. And the concept of trust takes on a whole new meaning with every new step. Heh, not that I've managed to bring many of my doubts to closure in a single evening, apart from last night.<br /><br />Kelly James Clark (a philosophy professor :)) gives a good treatment of this whole topic in chapter 6 of his book 'When Faith is Not Enough', which I am currently reading. He distinguishes between 'the doubt that comes from belief' and 'the doubt of unbelief', and quotes Tennyson: 'There lives more faith in honest doubt,/ Believe me, than in half the creeds.' And he also prescribes that 'Christians beset with debilitating doubt should act on what they do believe.' These thoughts have helped me. Though I might observe that it is not a book for the faint-hearted, as it also probes lots of issues to do with suffering and, you know, death and despair and the whole works - rather dangerous for moody people like me. I'm hoping it'll end on a somewhat happier note. Also I don't agree with everything he says. But that is all by the bye. Another one that's been helpful is Philip Yancey's 'Reaching For the Invisible God', which is also necessarily melancholic but ultimately uplifting.<br /><br />Another thing I've observed, however, that's not so good, is that I feel somewhat isolated from the rest of the church, let alone the rest of the population, now that I've begun down this path. Perhaps I will find that this is something I can remedy myself in time. But for the time being it feels very much as though there is only a very small group of people, such as yourself, who can identify with this stuff, and whom I could ever discuss it with. It's like I've crossed a line that effectively separates me, at a very deep level, from many of my closest friends, and my family, as I've mentioned before.<br /><br />Hm, well that's enough for starters. I could of course go on and on, but shan't, since it's your post after all :) Have a pleasant day.Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01068522009052343860noreply@blogger.com